What Is the Blueprint of WE?(a.k.a. the State of Grace Document)

Sustainable Collaboration
A collaboration process used to build and sustain healthier, more resilient business and personal relationships, making your day-to-day interactions effortless and your time together creative and productive.

Beyond self awareness, our world now demands collaborative awareness; how can we do this fast-paced dance without stepping on each other’s toes? The Blueprint of WE is a collaboration process used to establish healthier, more resilient business and personal relationships in a world that changes in increasingly complex ways, making the old ground rules no longer reliable. It gives you the power to be the architect of your life, rather than squeezing into pre-established relationship definitions. You personally write it along with those involved (whether it be 2 or 20,000+ people), preferably at the beginning of the relationship. It captures what draws each individual to the situation, your personal preferences and expectations; and it provides a path back to peace if the need arises. It is often being used to replace or enhance traditional legal contracts.

The 5 Components of a Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document

1. The Story of Us
Share what draws you to these people and this situation.


2. Interaction Styles and Warning Signs
The “blueprint of me,” how I work best, what I look like on a good day/bad day, and what I might need that I couldn’t ask for in the moment.

3. Expectations
Core values and non-negotiables, the structure you need to create and sustain this relationship.

4. Questions to Return to Peace
A tool to return to peace if the need arises, makes the difficult times shorter and easier.

5. Short and Long-Term Agreements
How long you’re willing to go before you make peace. An agreement of no outright harm, a willingness to keep an open window if the unimaginable happens.

We all have days when we screw up, which is exactly why we created the Blueprint of WE. It's a tool used to shorten the frequency and intensity of the difficult times. Creating a Document with others, as well as a Document with yourself — addressing the relationship you have with that voice in your head that can spiral you down — enables you to build trust and resilience both internally and collectively.

Who’s using it and When

The Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document is currently being used in communities, corporations, small businesses, non-profits, churches, families, schools, between business partners, couples, friends, siblings, etc. in countries around the world. Because it is a framework upon which to share the “blueprint of me” with others, it can be used within any relationship situation that exists, and with as many people as are involved. It creates effortless communication and easy day-to-day interactions that reduce stress and enhance overall emotional and physical health. People around the globe say it is an idea whose time has come. Be sure to download sample Documents and learn to create your own.

A More In-depth Look at the 5 Components

1. The Story of Us
This is the story of the individuals as they see one another while things are going smoothly. This is done in order to capture that affirmative perspective and remind ourselves of the true beauty of the other person, in the event things go astray and we lose sight of what we once found so amazing.

Each person writes their version of The Story of Us, which is the story of the other’s characteristics they most admire or appreciate and the reasons they’re attracted to the situation. It could also be in the form of a bullet-pointed list. This serves as a reminder that when things get tough, these brilliant characteristics still reside somewhere inside.

2. Interaction Styles and Warning Signs
Each person creates a bullet-pointed list of his or her Interaction Styles and Warning Signs. The Interaction Styles are an account of how you generally like to work and live. Do you need to think out loud with a group, work alone at times, need an agenda? Do you tend to prefer quiet time, are you high energy, direct when you communicate, do you lean towards the optimistic? Interaction Styles deal with how each person likes things done, what’s non-negotiable, what their preferences are, etc.

The Warning Signs is a list of the external clues you may show as signs of stress. The behaviors you exhibit right before things spin out of control. Are you less patient, do you immerse yourself deeper in your work, become a perfectionist, tap your pen on the table?

And most importantly, when you show these signs, how might someone help you pull out of the spiral? Tell them now, because in the moment, it might feel impossible to say what you really need. Come talk to me; give me space, then talk to me; help me see the data so I can step back from the emotional; offer me a back rub; reassure me, etc.

Warning Signs are the behaviors each person tends to display when things begin to go awry. Knowing these up front, and having someone tell you how to best assist, can alleviate a great deal of miscommunication and assumption that lead to a downward spiral.

3. Expectations
The Expectations section lists the type of things contracts traditionally cover in terms of what's to be done, agreed upon, or intentioned. This is also the space to let the other person know what overall expectations you have about the particular type of relationship you’ve entered into. Some people also place a traditional contract into the Expectations section, if they feel more comfortable using both a Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document and a legal document. Others have added their full Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document as an addendum to a legal contract. This way, if it ever went to a judge, the judge would read their Blueprint of WE as well. And imagine how that would impact the judge's decision! The beauty of it is, if you create a State of Grace Document, chances are you won't get to a place of relying on a judge to decide your fate.

4. Questions to Return to Peace
In many legal situations a person’s fate is often decided by a judge that they’ve never even met. But imagine if you could pick the perfect third party mediator to help you to get through a difficult spot. Who would that person be? What would they say to you? What kind of energy would they bring to the room? Now imagine that this third party mediator is YOU. The value in creating a Document in a stress-free moment is that we have access to the emotional intelligence that eludes us when we're upset. There is no better third party mediator for you than you because your "internal knowing" knows you best. So capture it ahead of time and use it when peace eludes you.

Each person writing their portion of a Blueprint of WE crafts a list of questions they commit to answer with one another to help return them to a state of peace if the need arises. The questions are then merged together in the combined Document.

Questions such as:
• What am I afraid of?
• What truths do I need to tell?
• What do I need from you right now?
• Does money play a part in this situation?
• What do I gain by continuing/ending this relationship?
• Is it time to redefine or redirect our work together?

5. Short and Long-Term Agreements
Part of establishing a Blueprint of WE is also agreeing to a Short-Term Timeframe, which is a limited amount of time that can elapse before agreeing to come together to go over the Document and use the Questions to Return to Peace section. For example, you could agree to three hours. Which means that if you feel out of a state of grace, you commit to sitting down within three hours to begin the process of finding our way back to a peaceful place, even if the conclusion is that the relationship container as you know it is over. For some people three hours is too long, for others two weeks is the right amount of time. It depends on your temperament, style of relating to one another, how you process information, and to what degree you need alone time before you can calm down enough to have a more loving conversation. This time-frame commitment states that you will open the conversation within that amount of time, but once you do, the parties involved decide if they’re ready to actually go over the Questions in that very moment, or if they need time to process what’s happened first. If now is not the right time, the people come up with an agreed upon time and place.

Before you go over the Questions to Return to Peace section together, each person re-reads the entire Document (or the portions that pertain to the people needing to find their way back to peace) to reorient themselves with one another and the relationship they have built. This helps to run the neural pathways in our brain that are linked to the positive feelings we once had for the other person which creates a more compassionate, open exchange.

The parties involved in each Blueprint of WE also agree to a Long-term Timeframe of five years or more to get back together to find peace if the unimaginable happens and they can’t seem go over their Questions. Many of us carry the pain of a bad ending for a lifetime and never resolve it. This commitment allows us the opening through the healing nature of time. It’s better late than never.

Each person also agrees that if they can’t manage to come together, they commit to no outright harm of the other person. They will not speak negatively of the other person to mutual colleagues or friends, or create more pain for them. This helps people to remember that moving more pain into the world never creates more peace, even if it feels justified in the moment.

Note: The Blueprint of WE is a written trust between two or more people who see the power in moving through the fears and joys of a relationship with grace. It’s typically written in the initial stage of the relationship, although if you are in a current state of grace with someone, but the relationship is not new, it can be written then as well.

Click here to access FREE materials to help you write your own Blueprint of WE Collaboration Documents.